Dear William (12 months)

Dear William,

Today you are 12 months old. That is a whole year! Happy birthday!

The past month has seen a lot of changes in all our lives. It all started out when I had a job interview at Washington University, was offered the position, and accepted it. William, we are moving to St. Louis!

We have all been under a lot of stress the last month as we are preparing for the big move. You have been hanging in there and putting up with us as best you can, but at times it does get difficult.

You got another new tooth this month! You're up to 7 teeth now!

The biggest news is that you started crawling this month. You've been quite mobile for a while--scooting around every which way but forward. And then one day (July 31 to be exact), you just got up on your hands and knees and crawled. You were going after your dad's Nalgene bottle. I was upstairs packing some boxes, and I missed the whole thing. But luckily, you were thrilled with your new skill and kept crawling more and more throughout the coming days. You were a bit clumsy at first, but you kept getting better and better.

This month, you've also started pulling up on your knees, or on one knee and one foot.

You've still been a very fussy eater. You pretty much only eat bread and fruit. William, that is all well and good, but you need to start eating your vegetables again. You just won't eat much of anything off of a spoon. You push my hand away from your face and vocalize quite forcefully if I come at you with food on a spoon. About the only thing I can sometimes spoon feed you is vegan yogurt. I mix your vegan yogurt with sunflower seed butter so that it's more substantial. For lunch most of the time, you have your very own "sandwich"-- I spread hummus on a slice of bread and cut it into small pieces for you. Sometimes you love kiwi or peaches or mango or banana, but other times you refuse any of those things. You have developed this horrible habit of throwing your food on the floor if it displeases you (and it just about always displeases you). I've tried to give you soymilk or apple juice in numerous types of sippy cups, but most of the time you just hurl them across the room. Sometimes you won't eat a single bit of anything at a meal. It is very, very frustrating.

You have plenty of words, but you do not talk yet. For many months, you have said, "Ba ba ba ba," "Da da da da" and "Ma ma ma ma." But they are really just sounds; I don't think you attach any meaning to them. The other day though, you were in your high chair (refusing to eat), and I went in to the kitchen to try to come up with some other food that you might want, and when I went out of your line of sight, you craned your neck and said, "Ma ma ma ma." I sort of almost wondered you knew what you were saying.

We had a party for you the weekend before your birthday. You had a blast. You didn't like your cake though. It was a chocolate cake. The same kind of cake I baked when I was in labor with you. I couldn't believe that you didn't like it. Your dad got you to eat some the next day for lunch, but you haven't had any more since.

William, we have been through so much together this past year. I will never, ever forget the moment you were born, the moment I first laid eyes on you. I will never forget that feeling of absolute familiarity, like I had known you forever even though we had just met. I remember how I couldn't go to sleep, couldn't even close my eyes, because I couldn't stop looking at you. William, I love you so much that sometimes it seems like I can't contain all that love inside me. How could I? There's not enough room in the whole universe to contain how much I love you.

Happy birthday, William.