Saturday, December 21, 2013

Staring down the brilliant dream

In case you missed it, I quit my job.  We’re moving to Colorado.

It will be a while before we can tie up all the lose ends and get out of here, but when we do, we’re heading west and not stopping until we get to Fort Collins.

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Although this news may seem like a shock, it was a long time coming.  You all know how I feel about St. Louis.

There is a smile on my face in the picture, but in truth, these have been very difficult days and many, many months of sleepless nights.  

In the end, I was just done with this.  Done, done, done.  Done.

It didn’t help matters that the temperature was 8 below (they had that Siberian Cold Front) in Fort Collins on the day I sent my resignation, but I did it anyway.  

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Friday was my last day:

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My co-workers threw a going away party for me, even though I had asked them not to.  They gave me gifts and wished me well.  I will miss them terribly. (I already do).

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This is tough because I have no idea what lies ahead.  I’ve got no job and no plan.  Not where I thought I’d end up in my 30’s.  I mean, I was a high school valedictorian.  Phi Beta Kappa.  Magna Cum Laude. I have a PhD.  But I’ve been staring down the brilliant dream for too long.

After I had a child, I knew I couldn’t handle, didn’t even want, and wasn't qualified for an academic career.  I tried to stay in the game with an office job tangentially related to my degree, but I only ended up burned out, exhausted, and jaded beyond all belief.  

I am overwhelmed at the thought of having to pick up the pieces and start completely over, but at least when I do, I will have Rob and Will and a place with an amazing view.  Raw, desolate, beautiful.


Thanks for reading.


Rachel said...

I think it is incredible and brave that you are following your dream, heart, desire, calling, whatever. Yay!!! And Colorado will be MUCH better than Missouri in many ways, I am sure!

Melissa said...

Thank you so much for your kind words, Rachel! Sending you a hug.