In all the excitement over my sinus infection, I kind of glossed over Christmas. I was definitely feeling more bah-humbug than usual this year. In fact, when Rob and I unsuccessfully attempted to get William to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas a few weeks ago (the old school cartoon version, of course. I hate CGI. Don't even get me started), I realized, you know, I like the way that grinch thinks. Not that I was going to stuff myself down any chimneys and steal gifts. I really just wanted to close my eyes and put my hands over my ears and have Christmas go away.
Christmas this year seemed particularly grim because we have recently had 2 deaths in my family. My sister's baby, Jackson, died in April. I have not written about this very much because it is not my story to tell, and also because I know that my sister reads this blog from time to time and I do not want to say anything that upsets her. Plus, it just hurts too, too much to try put into words everything that happened surrounding his death and since then. But I think about the whole situation all the time. Last year at Christmas, my sister was white knuckling it through hyperemesis, thinking she would have a 6-month old baby at Christmas this year. I think this was a major reason why for me at least, I just wanted to skip Christmas. I really did not feel like celebrating.
My grandmother also passed away this year, in late August. Her death has been sad for all of us of course, but not in that same tragic, horrific way as Jackson's. My grandmother lived a long, full life. She had 94 years of memories. We can sit around and share a story about her and not feel so sad. In fact, this entry wasn't supposed to be sad when I started out writing it because all I intended to do was write something I remembered about her from several years ago, when she was still in good health.
Grandma was always starting one task before she had completed about 6 others that she was also concurrently doing. I am the same exact way. I can never seem to finish anything before something else pops up that I must attend to, and what results is that I am running around making myself crazy, but not getting anything accomplished. It tends to make one a bit absent-minded. I was musing on this as I simultaneously wrapped Christmas gifts, folded laundry, and cleaned up the kitchen this year. At some point, I looked at a gift I had just wrapped for Rob's little cousin, and I realized that I had no idea what it was. Absolutely no clue. I had been there when we chose the gift and bought it, and I had wrapped it just 5 minutes ago, but for the life of me, I could not remember what it was. It made me think of a Christmas a few years ago when my mom received a gift from Grandma and the gift tag read, To: Nancy, From: Frying pan. I remember how my mother read the gift tag out loud and then all of us were laughing so hard that we had tears coming out of our eyes. My grandma was laughing the hardest of all... so floored at her own indiscretion that she could not speak. And trust me, speechlessness was a rare occurrence for Grandma.
I don't know, maybe you had to be there, but whenever I think of the To: Nancy, From: Frying pan incident, I can't help but laugh a little, even if it is just on the inside.
Hoping for more laughter in 2011.